St. Peter Asked Three Simple Questions… Then Everything Went Off the Rails
The day finally arrived. My old cousin Boudreaux d*ed and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Boudreaux approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, “Well Boudreaux, it is certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you though, the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.”
Boudreaux responds, “It shore is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody never told me bout no entrance exam. I shore hope dat da test ain’t too hard cher. Life was a big enough test as it was mon ami.”
St. Peter continued to say, “Yes, I know, Boudreaux, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week, begins with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there, in a year? Third: What is God’s first name?”
Boudreaux leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waved him on up and said, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers Boudreaux.”
Boud replied, “Well, da first one — which two days in da week, begins with the letter ‘T’? Shoot, dat one is easy. Dat would be Today and Tomorrow.”
The Saint’s eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, “Boudreaux, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?” asked St. Peter.
“How many seconds in a year? Now dat one is harder,” replied Boud. “But I thunk and thunk about dat, and I guess da only answer can be twelve.”
Astounded, St. Peter said, “Twelve? Twelve!?! Boudreaux, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”
Boudreaux replied, “Shoot, dere is got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd . . . “
“Hold it,” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind . . . but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name”?
“Shore,” Boud replied, “It’s Andy.”
“Andy!?!” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. “Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”
“Shoot St. Pete, dat was da easiest one of dem all,” Boudreaux replied. “I learnt it from da song, “ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN . . . “
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: “Go on in Boudreaux.”
