A 100-year-old man was having a big birthday party at his nursing home.
A TV crew was there to interview the man on this special day.
“Please tell our audience how you managed to live so long,” asked the reporter.
“Well, I don’t drink and I’ve never smoked,” replied the old geezer,
“and, I make it a point to stay well away from w!ld women.”
Just then, there was a loud shriek in the hall.
The crew turned to see a nurse run by, followed by an agile looking, older man.
The older man carried a foul smelling cigarette in one hand and a glass of whisky in the other.
As he ran by, he paused for a moment, looked at the crowd, grinned and cackled
“He, he, he!” and then continued his pursuit.
“What the hell was that all about?” asked the astonished reporter.
Replied the old geezer, “Please excuse my father – he gets carried away sometimes!”
Husband sent a text to his wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes
and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
but there is no reply…..
He sent another text,
“And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car”
this time ,
She sent this text back, “OMG really?”
Husband replied, :
“No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message”
Read more: A thief entered a house mid-afternoon.
A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewellery and money.
Man started sobbing and said, “Brother, you take anything you want but please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You really love your wife!!”
Man: No, she is my neighbor’s wife. Mine will arrive shortly.
