A guy walks into a bar with his cat, but the bartender immediately says,
“Sorry, no animals allowed in here.”
To the bartender’s surprise, the cat speaks up:
“Hey, I’m tired of this discrimination. Just give me a drink, okay?”
The bartender rolls his eyes and says, “Oh great, not another guy with the old talking-cat ventriloquist act. Both of you, out!”
The man quickly protests, “No, no, no, this isn’t a trick! Tell you what, I’ll leave and walk around the block. You can talk to Whiskers yourself.”
The man walks out, and the bartender watches him turn the corner.
The cat flicks its tail and says, “Now, about that drink…”
The bartender is stunned but quickly recovers.
“Wow, okay, drinks are on the house for you! Hey, could you do me a favor? My wife works next door at the café, and she’d get such a kick out of this. Here’s ten bucks—go in, order a coffee, and keep the change.”
“Sure thing,” says the cat, taking the money and strolling out the door.
Ten minutes pass, and the cat hasn’t returned.
The owner comes back and asks, “Where’s Whiskers?”
Concerned, both of them go looking for the cat.
As they approach the café, they spot Whiskers in the alley… lounging on a pile of cash and flirting with a fancy Persian cat.
The owner shouts, “Whiskers! What are you doing?! You’ve never done this before!”
Whiskers yawns and says, “Hey, I’ve never had money before.”
An Arab and his wife are at midpoint on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up.
The Arab beats it with his stick, pulls with all his strength on the reins, swears at it, and invokes Allah’s help.
All to no avail, the camel refuses to move.
The wife who was standing at the rear end of the camel says, “hang on, I’ll try this”.
Suddenly the camel got up and raced off towards the sandy horizon. The Arab asks his wife what she had done, and the wife replied
“I just kicked him hard between his rear legs on that bag like thing that hangs there”.
The Arab with a look of resignation bends over and touches his toes with his arse facing the wife and says “go ahead, do it”
She says “do what?” and he replies ” kick me in the same place because I’ve got to catch the bloody thing”
