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Funny – So the new…

So the new CEO decides it’s time to rid the company of slackers. On a tour of the facilities, he notices a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers. Seeing a chance to show he meant business.

He says to the guy, ‘How much money do you make a week?’ A little surprised, the young man says, ‘I make $400. Why?’ The CEO says, ‘Wait right here.’ He walks back to his office and comes back in two minutes. He hands the guy $1,600 in cash and says, ‘Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now get out and don’t come back! ’Feeling like a boss now, the CEO looks around and says, ‘Does anyone want to tell me what that goofball’s job was around here?’ From across the room, a voice says, ‘Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.’

Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.

One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”

Thomas replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”

His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”

A few months later they meet again and his friend friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”

With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”

The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”

Thomas replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”