1. Signs He Might Be Lying
His body language is suspicious: he may frequently itch his nose, and it may get red. This is known as the Pinocchio Sign, since lying causes your cells to release histamine, which causes your nose to itch and swell up.
His speech patterns change: When your lover lies, you may notice that his normal tone of voice changes. He may also stammer, pause for extended periods of time, or utilize strange intonation. A abrupt change in his speech patterns when discussing a specific issue, person, or event may indicate that he is speaking a falsehood.
He’s talking more than usual: Your boyfriend may also use the third person when lying to distance himself from the lie he is telling you and he may try to change the subject quickly after he has told a lie to avoid drawing attention to it.
2. Responding to His Lies
Address him with honesty and candor.
Instead of telling him, “I know you’re lying” or “You’re a liar,” let him to be honest with you. Tell him, “I believe there is something going on that you are concerned about or don’t want me to know about. I believe it is time for us to discuss it openly so that we can deal with it collectively.”
Consider his reason to lie.
If your lover is lying to you in order to keep anything from you, you can approach his lie as a tool to uncover a fact he is hiding. If you and your partner are just beginning out in a serious relationship, he may lie to you in order to pump himself up and make himself appear more deserving of your attention.
However, if you believe your partner is driven to lie to you in order to hurt you, evaluate whether his falsehoods are a sign that other issues in the relationship need to be addressed.
Discuss why he might have lied.
Allow your lover to explain his lies, but be suspicious of excuses. He may have felt forced not to be honest about his actions because he thought you would not approve or would be offended if you found out. He could also be hiding an addiction or a personal issue that he does not want you to know about. Focus on how you might collaborate to assist him cope with his issue or problem so that he no longer feels compelled to lie to you.
Make it plain that you do not enjoy being lied to.
Allow your partner time to think about his reaction after you’ve given him the option to confess. If he explains why he lied to you, let him know that you will no longer tolerate being lied to.
Don’t blame yourself for your boyfriend’s falsehoods.
If you have previously complained about your boyfriend’s behavior, you may believe you are somewhat responsible for him concealing his negative habit or behavior. However, keep in mind that you are not to blame for your boyfriend’s lies; only he can be held accountable for his actions. Part of being in a mature relationship is accepting responsibility for one’s own actions. Your lover must be willing to accept the blame for his falsehoods.
Move forward by forgiving him and practicing mutual honesty.
If you want to move forward and put your boyfriend’s lies behind you, it may be difficult, depending on the intensity of his deception and motivations, but it is achievable with time and patience. Trust is difficult to reestablish, but by exercising mutual transparency and scheduling regular check-ins about how you’re both feeling, you may learn to fully trust your boyfriend again. In time, you may find that your bond is even stronger than before.
