My husband (43) and I (32) have been married for 12 years and share two kids, a 10-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son.

I love my kids and always dreamed of a big family, but the reality is overwhelming. I handle everything—cooking, cleaning, parenting, and working part-time from home. My husband “provides,” but that’s where his involvement ends. He’s never changed a diaper, woken up at night, or taken the kids to a doctor. It’s all me.

Last month, my best friend invited me out for coffee. It was the first time in weeks I had a chance to get out of the house for something fun.

“Eric, can you watch the kids for an hour?” I asked.

“I’m tired. I worked all week. Why don’t you just take them with you?”

I sighed. “Because I want a break. It’s just an hour. They’ll be fine.”

“Katie, you’re the mom. Moms don’t get breaks. My mom never needed breaks. Neither did my sister.”

My jaw clenched. “Oh, so Brianna and Amber never felt overwhelmed? They never needed a minute to themselves?”

“Exactly,” he said. “They managed just fine. You should, too.”

“Eric, your mom and sister probably felt exactly like I do! They just never said it out loud because they knew no one would listen.”

“Whatever. It’s your job, Katie. You wanted kids. Now take care of them.”

“They’re your kids, too!” I said. “When do you ever take care of them? When was the last time you helped Lily with her homework? Or played with Brandon? Or asked them how their day was?”

“I go to work to keep a roof over your head. That’s enough.”

“No, it’s not!” I shot back. “Providing money isn’t the same as being a parent. You’re their father, Eric. They need you.”

“Well, tough. I’m not changing how things are.”

How did I end up married to someone so selfish?

Some days later, Eric started mentioning having another baby.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Eric, I barely manage with the two we already have. And you want to add another?”

His brow furrowed, “What’s the big deal? We’ve already done it twice. You know how it works.”

“That’s exactly the point,” I said. “I know how it works. I’m the one who does all the work. I’m the one up at night. I’m the one running around like a lunatic, trying to keep everything together. You don’t help.”

Eric’s face darkened. “I provide for this family, Katie. That’s helping.”

“No, it’s not,” I snapped. “Being a parent is more than just bringing home a paycheck.”

At that point, his mother, Brianna, who had stopped by earlier to “visit the kids” with her daughter, walked into the kitchen.

Eric sighed dramatically. “Mom, she’s at it again. She keeps telling me I don’t help with the kids.”

Brianna’s lips pursed. “Katie, sweetheart, you need to be careful. A man doesn’t like to feel criticized by his wife.”

“I’m not criticizing him. I’m asking him to be a parent. There’s a difference.”

Brianna continued, “Eric works hard to provide for this family. You should be grateful.”

“And you’re already blessed with two beautiful children,” Brianna continued. “Why wouldn’t you want another?”

“Because I’m exhausted,” I said flatly. “I’m already doing everything by myself. Why would I want to make my life even harder?”

That’s when Amber, Eric’s sister, chimed in, stepping into the kitchen. “Honestly, Katie, you sound a little spoiled. Mom raised both of us without complaining.”

“Right. And I’m sure she never felt overwhelmed. She just kept quiet because no one would’ve cared if she did.”, I said with a bitter laugh.

Amber’s eyes narrowed. “Well, maybe you need to toughen up. Women have been doing this for centuries. It’s just what we do.”

I turned to Eric. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re so stuck in this outdated mindset where women are expected to handle everything. It’s not fair.”

“Life’s not fair, Katie,” Eric shrugged. “Deal with it.”

Later that night, after Brianna and Amber had left, Eric brought up the third child again.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” he said as we got ready for bed. “We’ve got a good life. I take care of you and the kids. We should have another.”

“Eric, you don’t take care of me. Or the kids. You barely even know them.”

“You’re not the great dad you think you are,” I continued. “And I have zero interest in being a single mom to three kids. Two is hard enough.”

Eric didn’t say anything. Instead, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Off to his mother’s house, no doubt.

The next morning, I was up early. My kids were at my sister’s place. I’d called her the night before, knowing I needed someone to lean on.

I didn’t expect Eric to come back right away, but I wasn’t surprised when Brianna and Amber showed up instead.

“Katie, dear, you’ve changed. You’re not the sweet girl my son married.”

Brianna’s comment hit me harder than I expected.

“You’re right,” I said. “I’m not that girl anymore. Eric married a teenager. Now, I’m a woman who knows her worth.”

Brianna’s face turned red. “Excuse me?”

I crossed my arms. “You heard me. And honestly, if Eric has a problem with how I run my household, he should be here talking to me. Not sending you two to do it for him.”

Amber’s voice was sharp. “That’s not how family works. We support each other.”

“Really? Funny how that support only ever seems to go one way.”

At that, my sister walked in. “You guys need to calm down. Otherwise, I can call the authorities.”

Brianna launched into a tirade about how I was “ruining” her son’s life, how I was a bad wife, and how my kids would grow up hating me.

Brianna and Amber finally left a few minutes later, slamming the door behind them.

Later that day, Eric came home.

“You insulted my mother and sister?”

“I didn’t insult anyone. I told them they had no right to interfere in our marriage.”

Eric’s expression darkened. “You don’t love me. You don’t love the kids. You’ve changed.”

“I haven’t changed, Eric. I’ve grown up. There’s a difference.”

“Pack your things and leave,” he demanded, pointing to the door. “I can’t live with you anymore.”

I didn’t argue. I packed my bags and stood at the door, ready to leave. I turned to him one last time.

“The kids are staying here,” I said. “Whichever parent stays in this house will be responsible for them. They’re not going anywhere.”

“Wait… what?” he asked. “That’s not happening.”

“You heard me,” I said calmly. “You wanted me gone, fine. But the kids stay.”

I walked out with my sister without listening to anything else Eric had to say.

Ultimately, Eric refused to take custody of the kids, and I filed for divorce.

In the end, I kept the house, got full custody, and received substantial child support payments. I’m glad I stood up for myself before it was too late.