Being left out of family gatherings can be incredibly hurtful, especially when the reason isn’t scheduling conflicts, but subtle (or not-so-subtle) judgment. One often unspoken reason people get excluded is that they don’t have children.
One of our readers recently shared their story
Hi,
My husband and I have been married for five years, and we hoped to spend the holidays with his family. His mother usually plans the family vacations, so we visited his parents to see if we could join this year. My mother-in-law told us they wouldn’t be available.
She explained that this year’s trip was just for the kids—it was a family outing to Disneyland. And since we don’t have children, we weren’t included.
My husband was sh0cked and asked her why we couldn’t come along anyway. She looked at him and said, “It’s a family trip with activities for families.” I stood there, speechless, unsure how to respond.
My husband tried to explain that we planned to have children in our own time, but his mother didn’t accept that.
She simply said, “When you give me grandkids, then you can join the family vacations.” At first, I thought she was joking—but my husband’s expression told me she was completely serious.
He was devastated.
For years, during our relationship, he defended her and tried to rationalize her behavior. But this moment made him realize the truth—his mother wasn’t the warm, caring person he always claimed she was.
So, instead of sulking, we decided to take our own vacation. And while we were away, we found out I was pregnant.
When we shared the news, my mother-in-law’s attitude changed instantly. Suddenly, my husband was her favorite child.
She began discussing future family trips and offering advice we didn’t ask for. But my husband told her firmly not to include us in any of her future plans.
We would raise our child on our terms, and she would have no say in how we did things from now on.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It’s never easy to navigate situations like these, but you’re not alone.
