A healthy relationship is supposed to give and take, but more often than not, you’re only the one doing the “giving.”
It’s okay to be generous and selfless, but being an over-giver and not getting anything in return can be soul-drenching.
And it’s so easy to slip into the red flag zone when your thoughtful and accommodating nature becomes unhealthy.
1. Your partner isn’t there when you need them
Yeah, this one’s kinda obvious, hopefully. You’d think, for everything you’ve done, that they’d occasionally return a favor or have your back, right?
Common courtesy is uncommon for some people. You’re probably giving too much if they somehow conveniently “forget” about – or outright disregard – the things you’ve done.
In fact, you may not even hear a simple “Thank you.” If that’s the case, good luck trying to get help from them.
2. You always initiate communication
When you’re not “needed,” they don’t want to talk, and when they don’t want to talk, just leave them alone. (And find some peace!)
Most communication that does take place originates from you. Being the kind person you are, you’ll try to establish and maintain contact out of genuine cordiality.
It’s too bad the other person had no interest in doing the same.
3. You’re always the “first call”…
When they need something.
4. But quickly ignored
When everything is fine.
Do you remember the cliques from high school? Smart kids would hang out with smart kids, athletes with athletes, shy kids with shy kids.
You know what’s strange? In almost every clique, there’s one member who’s almost always ignored. Sociological research has found that there’s an “outcast” in every group; one who helps maintain group harmony at the expense of personal happiness.
5. They always seem to be telling a lie
You know the saying “Trust takes a long time to create, a short time to destroy”?
Well, your friend has torpedoed their trustworthiness. And you know the sad thing?
They could care less.
6. Their needs always come first
Instead of thinking about your needs and making yourself happy, you’re taking care of others at the expense of your own.
Even if you’re not tired of how things are going, you still don’t want to upset them.
While there are times wherein you have to make personal sacrifices, doing them all the time isn’t healthy anymore.
Adele Alligood, an EndThrive relationship expert, shares that “the more people suppressed their needs for the more depressed they tend to be.
“Do you always feel the need to take care of them – even if they don’t deserve it or ask for it? Are you afraid that they’ll get hurt or worried that they’ll leave if you say “no?”
And if you find yourself putting your loved ones, partner, or friends all the time, then you’re an over-giver.
