Charles and his wife were cruising down the highway when a state trooper flashed his lights and pulled them over.
The officer walked up to the window. “Sir, you were doing 75 in a 55-mile-per-hour zone.”
Charles shook his head defensively. “No way, Officer! I was doing 65 max.”
From the passenger seat, his wife chimed in, “Oh, Charles, stop it. You were going at least 80.” Charles shot her a vicious glare.
The officer adjusted his notepad. “Well, I’m also going to write you up for that broken tail light.”
Charles feigned total shock. “A broken tail light? I had absolutely no idea!”
His wife piped up again, “Oh, Charles, please. You’ve known about that busted light for three weeks.” Charles ground his teeth and shot her another death stare.
The officer looked inside the cabin. “And finally, I’m issuing a citation because you aren’t wearing your seat belt.”
Charles lied smoothly, “Oh, this? I just unbuckled it a second ago when you were walking up to the car.”
His wife sighed and shook her head. “Oh, Charles, don’t play games. You never wear your seat belt.”
Completely losing his mind, Charles turned to his wife and screamed, “Will you please shut your mouth, you blabbering woman!”
Shocked by the outburst, the officer leaned into the window, looked at the passenger, and asked, “Ma’am, does your husband always speak to you with such utter disrespect?”
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
“Oh, heavens no, Officer. Only when he’s completely drunk!”
