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The Rules of the Marriage

A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules.

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want, what time I want, and I don’t expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.

I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don’t you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?”

His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be s*x here at seven o’clock every night, whether you’re here or not.”

A Couple Is Eating At Hooters For Their 20th Anniversary.

A husband and wife are eating at Hooters for their 20th anniversary.

A busty gorgeous blond waitress comes up and asks them what they’d like to drink.

“Oh my god, you are gorgeous.” Said the husband with the intent of pissing his wife off.

His wife just shook her head and smiled.

“Why don’t you introduce your wife to her you pig, or better yet, introduce her to your erectile dysfunction. “

The husband looks at the waitress who was now smiling nervously at them.

The husband looked at the waitress and pointed at his wife and said,

“Ma’am I’d like to introduce you to my erectile dysfunction, my wife.”