The Talking Dog
A man sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The man walks around the house and asks the dog, “Can you talk?”
“Yep,” the dog replies.
“So, what’s your story?”
The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my ability to talk when I was young. I wanted to help humanity, so I joined the CIA.”
“I spent years traveling around the world, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one ever suspected a talking dog. I was awarded numerous medals.”
“After a while, I got tired of the jet-setting life and retired to start a family.”
The man is amazed and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
The owner says, “Ten dollars.”
The man is stunned. “Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why so cheap?”
The owner replies, “Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”
Read more…
The Perfect Man
A man dies and goes to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greets him and says, “Welcome to heaven. To enter, you must answer one question: what was the best thing you did on Earth?”
The man thinks for a moment and says, “I once saw a group of bikers har@ssing a young woman. I walked right up to the leader and punched him in the face, telling him to leave her alone or he’d have to answer to me!”
Saint Peter is impressed and asks, “When did this happen?”
The man replies, “About five minutes ago.”
