Two old hillbillies were huddled over a corner table in a crowded diner, whispering excitedly about the secret coordinates of their illegal moonshine still, when the afternoon took a sudden, life-threatening turn.
At the very next table, a woman suddenly choked on her sandwich. Her quiet coughs rapidly escalated into a violent, desperate struggle for air. The entire diner froze as her face began turning an alarming shade of blue.
Sensing the gravity of the situation, one of the hillbillies leaped out of his booth and rushed to her side. “Can ya swallow, ma’am?”
The woman frantically shook her head no.
“Can ya breathe at all?”
She shook her head again, her eyes wide with sheer terror.
Without a moment’s hesitation, the hillbilly flipped up her dress, yanked down her underwear, and planted a massive, wet lick right across her right butt cheek.
The absolute, profound shock of the gesture sent a violent electrical spasm straight through the woman’s body. With a massive gasp, the trapped chunk of sandwich shot right out of her mouth and flew across the room, instantly clearing her airway.
As the woman sat there panting, completely stunned but alive, the hillbilly casually wiped his mouth, strolled back to his table, and took a sip of his coffee.
His partner stared at him in absolute, jaw-dropped awe.
“Well, I’ll be damned, Billy,” his buddy whispered. “I’ve always heard folks talk about that ‘Hind-Lick Maneuver,’ but I never thought I’d actually see it save a life!”
