According to Stan Tatkin, a psychologist and author of Wired for Love, as long-term relationships progress, they may result in more subtle expressions of affection than during the passionate courtship period. These less obvious demonstrations range from their body language to the way they quarrel to the thoughtful things they do around the house.
They’re easy to miss, especially if you’re waiting around for those first-date butterflies or bold, impromptu romantic gestures, but that doesn’t make them any less meaningful. Here, Tatkin and other relationship experts explain the subtext behind these low-key signs that your partner is still madly in love with you.
They make an effort to grow with you.
When the relationship develops, so too do the individuals in it. “The right partner is by your side for whatever new endeavor you take on. Whether it’s a new hobby, or a career change, in a healthy relationship your partner will encourage you to grow and take risks,” Dr. Morgan Anderson, relationship coach and clinical psychologist, tells Woman’s Day. They truly care about you if they are constantly interested in discovering more about who you are and what you hope to become.
They go out of their way to make you happy.
In a relationship, it may appear that the two individuals are always going out of their way to make the other person happy at first, but occasionally this can wear off. You may tell your partner is still deeply in love if they are still trying to be thoughtful.
As Bronstein tells Woman’s Day, “You know that your man is still in love with you if he picks up your favorite latte at the out-of-the-way coffee shop (and he doesn’t even drink coffee) just to see the smile that it brings to your face!”
They include you in their decision making.
Even while each partner in a relationship will wish to maintain their individuality to a certain extent, the way they involve you in decision-making is a good indicator of how dedicated they are. Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman, a psychologist, author of The Book of Sacred Baths, and host of The Love Psychologist podcast, tells Woman’s Day that this can be thought of as a desire to co-create their future with you.
She explains that when it comes to important, life-altering topics, they’ll “encourage you to weigh in and respect your point of view.” It’s a significant gesture because this means they “understand that your relationship and life together needs to be big enough to support the needs of both of you.”
They’re quick to end an argument.
If he lets you win an argument without hesitation, it means they’re still head over heels for you. “He puts you ahead of having to be right because he knows that any delay in fixing misunderstandings or hurt feelings can lead to a long-lasting memory that doesn’t bode well for your future,” Tatkin says.
Therefore, when they raise the white flag, it’s not because they’re being lazy; rather, it’s because they don’t want to see you unhappy. The next time you find yourself in a scenario like this, step back and decide if solving the problem or being right is more essential.
They never say the ‘D’ word.
It’s deniable that every marriage has its share of prolonged arguments.but even in the darkest of times, your spouse never says the word “divorce.” Tatkin explains that a happy spouse doesn’t threaten their relationship even when they’re upset, frustrated, or incredibly angry.
“Nothing good can come from threatening the relationship or making you feel like it may not exist in the near future,” Tatkin says. Instead, they’ve learned how to communicate through issues healthily, because of course, you’ll still have a few fights here and there.
They know you hate doing the dishes, so they do them.
When you’ve been together for years, it’s obvious that your spouse knows your likes and dislikes. But if you want to know if they love you, see how they adjust to your “irritation triggers.”
“If he knows the three or four things that will always hurt you or put you off balance, and then knows just what to do to either avoid them or get you up and running again when they do happen, then consider him your antidote,” Tatkin says.
So rather than picking a fight because it’s “your turn” to take care of the dishes, you’re more likely to find them loading up the machine before bed. Just remember to return the favor and handle something that drives them batty — or at least consider taking dish duty as a thank you, because we bet they don’t love that chore, either.
They’re not afraid to talk about the tough stuff.
Even in the most successful long-term relationships, conflict inevitably occurs, and as Hoffman notes, “the key is how your partner reacts if something is wrong.” Positive responses could be a general readiness to make concessions, or to a few couples therapy sessions.
Hoffman shares that based on data from OkCupid, therapy is more widely being used as a tool for happy couples as well as those on the rocks, with 61% of OkCupid users believing it’s a good resource. “Nothing says love like your partner being willing to do the work and go to therapy with you,” she stresses.
Source: woman’s day
